Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize