And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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