You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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i came on her dog
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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