Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
