so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He better not be in your backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize