After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
