he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize