When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize