I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
