Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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