dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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