I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
