That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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