We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
