I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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