I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize