you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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