life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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