Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
