you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
