so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
