i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.