I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?