I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
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Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
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We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.