They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
