Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
