He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
porn star boner night. come get it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
