My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
