and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
