Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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