Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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