Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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