Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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