If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever