when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Dating After Heartbreak
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.