if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
