I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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