Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i think my cat just said my name.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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