why didn't you poke me back
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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