I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
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15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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