you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.