paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
