In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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