If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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