I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize