dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
