Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My balls are so social today.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize