Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize