Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

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  (803): Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/zuya
  Replies (29) Good night (8558) Bad night (997)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

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  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (38699) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  "Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.

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  (309): "Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me. http://tfl.nu/fmev
  Replies (46) Good night (914) Bad night (3844)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

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  (910): just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics http://tfl.nu/3wmw
  Replies (68) Good night (10890) Bad night (2534)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed

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  (310): he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed http://tfl.nu/t2n3
  Replies (15) Good night (2921) Bad night (1651)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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  (775): I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question. http://tfl.nu/abym
  Replies (7) Good night (2865) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back

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  (847): Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back http://tfl.nu/ffo4
  Replies (6) Good night (1304) Bad night (1065)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself

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  (303): I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself http://tfl.nu/q2o1
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (800)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from. 

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  (832): I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.  http://tfl.nu/6jpo
  Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.

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  (408): I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate. http://tfl.nu/p4ru
  Replies (9) Good night (1137) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

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  (803): High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice. http://tfl.nu/ko1b
  Replies (3) Good night (1163) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  WHY did you say no to the sex seance?

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  (916): WHY did you say no to the sex seance? http://tfl.nu/czv9
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot

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  (712): When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot http://tfl.nu/4agl
  Replies (2) Good night (1551) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?

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  (612): Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe? http://tfl.nu/94og
  Replies (2) Good night (335) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....

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  (512): I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin.... http://tfl.nu/idup
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (561)

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