just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She's allergic to latex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!