So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...