dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH