nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
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But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.