I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize