why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
my liver is dry heaving
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
