she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
