your room smells of hookers.
And success
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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